1-You insist on wearing a unitard all the time 2-Whenever you hear glass break your head jerks up and you yell, 'Macavity!' 3-You'll
pay 38$ for a unitard, 30$ for a wig and 40$ for a tail... but a 2$ bottle of water is highway robbery 4-It confuses you
why your friends don't have 'dancing cat' pupils 5-Whenever something is stolen, you blame Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer 6-If
you can't find a knife or a fork, you KNOW it's not merely misplaced 7-You hold 'Jellicle Balls' for your cats 8-A Trekkie
calls YOU obsessive 9-You break your leg trying to jump off a tire 10-After you get out of your cast, you try it again! 11-You
try to play golf with a giant spoon 12-While other girls are swooning over Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, you're looking longingly
at pictures of Michael Gruebar and Jacob Brent 13-you call up radio stations and request songs from Cats 14-Your day
is not complete until you listen to your CD, watch your video and go on all five Cats boards twice 15-Betty Buckley has
a restraining order against you, saying you are 'sociably upsetting' 16-you call any man in tails 'Bustopher Jones', despite
all the weird looks 17-You wait around the back of Pubs looking for Gus 18-You're pregnant and beg and plead your spouse
to name your child a name form Cats 19-When they refuse, you play 'the Naming of Cats' in their sleep, until oneday they
suggest you name your child three names 20-Everytime you go on a train, you tell the waiter you won't be needing his services,
Skimbleshanks will take care of it all 21-For your brothers birthday you call up Magician Agency's and ask for Mr. Mistoffolees 22-you
get fired because your boss sees you printing out all the messages you haven't read from a CatsBoard, wasting hundreds of
sheets of paper 23-Your mom asks you to pick up your room. You shake your head, pick up your spotted and stripped tabby
cat and claim that's her job 24-After four weeks, you come home and find your room clean. Your mother cleans her throat
and says you have someone to thank. You are later grounded for thanking your cat 25-Your house is on fire and you can either
save your CATs merchandise or brother... you'll miss your brother :) 26-Your friend sets you up with the most popular guy
in school. When you meet, you push him awayand cry, "No! No! My heart belongs with Munkustrap!" 27-After weeks of therepy
from your crush on Bombalurina you come out with your crush gone! But now you have a crush on Marlene Danielle. 28-You
legally change your name to Jellylorum and 'Adopt a Grandpa' named Gus 29-You spend hours wondering what Mr. Mistoffolees
first name is 30-You hum "Jellicle Songs For Jellicle Cats' in crowded areas to find other fans 31-The only reason you
watch 'Caroline In The City' is because the character Annie is in CATS... or WAS Your dad has to change his name to Old Deuteronomy
to get your attention. 32-You call up NASA to see if there really is a Jellicle Moon. 33-You spend your weekends in
a junkyard, looking for a huge tire that flies. 34-You can't remember you're little brother's name but you're sure it was
something like Skimbles or Munku. . . 35-On the name spot for your assignments you write, the cat himself knows and will
never confess. 36-You get mad when someone asks "whats a Jellicle cat?" 37-You always carry around a can of fish paste,
just in case a black cat wants to use some. 38-You really do address a cat by taking off your hat, bowing and saying, "Oh
cat!" 39-You try to train you own cat to jump through a hoop, just so you can say Gus is singing about your kitty. 40-You
want to be in Cats on Ice (if it ever happens) and you can't ice skate. 41-When watching a tv show and they ask where someone
is, you shout "You ought to ask the Magical Mister Mistoffelees!" 42-You believe Cats would make a good soap opera.
43-When going to see Cats live, you sing along shamelessly. 44-You could actually tell that Cassandra was a Siamese. 45-You
were there when the pharaohs commissioned the sphinx 46-You buy a cat and name it Victoria since it is white. 47-You
find out it is a boy cat, so draw spots on it and name it Alonzo. 48-You have a cat named Grizabella. 49-After being
subjected to all kinds of torture; being forced to dance, sing and painted then named wierd, your cat runs away. 50-You
claim that Macavity stole your cat instead.
51-But you aren't worried because you know Misto will bring it back. 52-You can play "Memory" using the buttons on
your touch tone telephone. 53-You can turn everyone around you into a Cats fan.
54-When you notice your kitten staring out a window you start calling out names. 55-You can name every cat in every
production, any parts they have and their coloration/breed off the top of your head. 56-you've memorized every verse to
every song, even from langueges you don't speak. 57-your boyfriend leaves you because he's jelous of a cat. 58-you go
climb on bigwheel tires at 6:00am, in hopes you can get to the heavyside layer. 59-you watch the CATS the video every day,
and havn't missed a beat since it came out. 60-you can dance Jennyanydots tap dance, Victoria's solo dance, and Mistoffolees
thingamajig, PERFECTLY, without mistakes. 61-you buy people cat-nip for presents. 62-for a costume you dress up as one
of Growltiger's crew. 63-you wonder where your tail is. 64-you have three names. 65-one of which only you know. 66-you
check all four cat forums 3-6 times a day. 67-whenever you're sad or angry or bored or glum, you watch the cats video and
feel better. 68-you are reading this. 69-you actualy do, or have done some things in this list. 70-you know every
diffriences in every version of cats. 71-you go on a trip to another countery just to see that version of cats. 72-you
plan on who you'll be in cats, even though you can't sing or dance. 72-when harsh reality rears it's ugly face, you plan
on taking you little brother/sister to singing anddanicng and gymnastics just so he/she can be in cats. 73-when Gus sings
about how kittens aren't as great as they where in his days, you feel offended. 74-seriosly. 75-when you here a loud
noise, you freaze up, shreak "Macavity!" then race off. 76-you refer to all dogs as "Pekes" or "pollicles" 77-you have
planed two names for each of your children, and they're names like "Muncaster" and "Mistoffolees". 78-you can't remember
names like "Mary" or "John". You only remember names like "Bombalurina". 79-you shamlesly sing and hum cats songs in public. 80-your
cats CD is always on-- unless the video is. 81-you throw a fit when your parents tell you it's not healthy to sit and watch
cats over and over again. 82-you refer to the bathroom as the litter box. 83-you call your bed a basket. 84-you pounce
on an open can of sardines. 85-you refer to your bedroom as the Jellicle junkyard. 86-you tell your friends to wait
for you, you'll get there when you are done grooming your mane. 87-you have two back up copies of the video, one CD of
the Original London cast, one CD of the Original Broadway cast, AND the collection of selected songs from the musical. 88-you
remember the line "Jellicles dry between their toes" after a shower. 89-you claim your pet feline is Macavity in disguise
whenever things come up lost. 90-you ask people in a bad mood if they have had their distemper shots. 91-you ask a depressed
friend if catnip would help them. 92-you purr when a meal is especially good. 93-you call your child your Kitten. 94-you
actually wonder if the Great Rumpus Cat is the feline version of Superman. 95-you find something that looks alot like a
tail at target and buy it to make a tail out of. 96-you can feel a phantom tail twitching when you are upset or thinking. 97-you
feel the need for a scratching post. 98-you can growl realistically and sound so much like a cat that you fool your pet
felines. 99-your ears actually twitch when you hear odd sounds at night. 100-your daughter calls her grandpa Old Deuteronomy..
and he responds. 101-you find yourself watching lint float in the air. 102-you hiss when someone cuts you off in traffic. 103-you
actually let your mind come up with these things!!! 104-you plan to come up with more later. 105-you don't care if people
agree with you or not, you are a cat and the opinions of others don't matter. 106-you practice stalking. 107-you grow
claws. 108-you want to dye your mane in tiger stripes and leopard spots. 109-you call men tomcats. 110-you have more
of these but you save them for another, later posting. 111-Whenever someone asks you what you thought about somthing you
immidiatly reply "Needed more Catnip" 112-You take amusment in attempting to grab a string out of peoples hands if they
happen to be dangling.
113-You annoy and frighten friends and relations by hissing at anything that displeases you. 114-You attempt to comfort
a friend by rubbing your head against your shoulder 115-While watching the movie you remark the dancer's are hotter as
Cats then in real life 116-While out on a date with a new guy you expect him to lift you over your head like Plato does
to Victoria 117-you start looking for missing knives and forks out on the lawn. 118-you're at a dinner, you refuse to
let the hostess call you by firstname, unless she offers you caviar or Straussburg pie. 119-you won't let the train go
until you made sure that Skimbleshanks is aboard. 120-you every day before dawn go out in the garden, sits down by the
sunflowers and wait for the day. 121-In church instead of singing hymns, your singing 'Old Deuteronomy' 122-You want
to break your radio when you hear someone other than Elaine Paige singing 'Memory' 123-After you've seen the Cats Video,
you enroll in a dance class at your school to become just like them-- 124---Although after a week, you're all sore, and
drop the class and join choir to become a chorus cat. 125-Your face is all scraped up, after you tried to 'run' up a wall. 126-You
actually start to caterwaul when you see a cute guy(Or girl). 127-You need a new closet because you made it into a small
CATS Shrine 128-You need ANOTHER closet because all of your CATS Clothing wouldn't fit! 129-You refer to any dog you
see a Pollicle... 130-You have to get your family a 'CATS Dictionary' so they'll understand 1/2 of what you say... 131-The
word Terpsichorean is in your day-by-day lingo 132-You freak your siblings out by running around the house singing songs
from CATS 133-Everyone you know knows something about CATS because of you (mwahahaa!) 134-You've painted your room blue,
strung lights around it, and painted the 'Jellicle Moon' near your window... 135-You argue with friends that Heaven is
the worst place to go, and the Heavyside Layer Rules... 136-You have PF Magic's 'Catz' programs and adopt every cat, and
paint them to look like Cats of CATS. 137-You call your friends Jellicles 138-You post to more than one CATS Message
board in a way... 139-One half of your hard drive has been taken over by CATS items 140-You have 14 CATS costumes in
your daily wardrobe 141-You keep yelling at your friends to stop calling you by your 3rd name, because no one is supposed
to know it ;) 142-Your Reading this list as a 'Things to do' list 143-You own more than 14 stuffed Cats that look like
each cat from CATS 144-You actually have '3' differant names for your cat... 145-You've seen the CATS Video 17 times,
and notice a new thing each time... 146-You fuss about, trying to get you cat to sing or even talk! (without meows) 147-You
call your cats names from CATS, and they actually respond! 148-You wear silver garland for a tail 24/7. 149-You dance
around the house for days in an imitation of your favorite Cat, after finding a picture of them. 150-You don't have any
idle time, because you are always searching the web for more Cats info. 151-You burst into tears when you didn't get more
Cats stuff for a present. 152-When you are alone at home you pretend that specific Cat that you so much adore is there
with you and you talk to him, or at night he's there next to you in bed 153-You try to teach your mice knitting. 154-You
try to find jobs for your roaches. 155-You asked your postman if he's seen grizz. 156-you greet frineds with a meow. 157-You
wear the makeup from cats for fun 158-Your nails are 5 inches long, and painted a milkly-white. 159-You grow whiskers. 160-You
refer to God as The Everlasting Cat. 161-You make your cat listen to the soundtrack, in hopes that he/she will start singing
or at least look like they recognize it. 162-You feel insulted because there isn't a Jellicle Cat that looks like your
cat. 163-You send the director a drawing of a costume idea for your cat because of above reason. 164-You wonder why
there aren't books written by or about the Jellicles. 165- You hiss and run away when a car's headlights pass over you. 166-you
make tiny tap shoes for the bugs in your house 167-you spend all your money on a unitard, wig, etc..... 168-you email
people telling them what is wrong with their Cats site 169-you wish they made a Cats radio station 170-when they dont,
you do 171-You heard the cats say "Macavity's not there!!" after he ran away 172-For a talent show, you put on a scene
from Cats 173-You make a list of things that went wrong in the video. 174-your parents know the only effective way to
punish you is to take away your CATS stuff 175-your liscense plate reads 'TSE1' 176-You've made up yor own jellicle
name 177-your E-mail adress refers to CATS 178-You noticed the the SNL sketch was really filmed at winter garden theater 179-You
talk about the cast members as if they were close friends of yours 180-You bribe ALW to put you in CATS 181-You know
that the bad editing in the movie (ie jennyanydots) wasnt really bad editing, it was mistoffelees using his magic 182-Your
daily routine: Eat Sleep, watch CATS 183- you buy stuffed cats that look like the ones from CATS and you try to have conversations
with them 184-You feel offended when they dont talk back 185-You've memorized the entire dance to the jellicle ball
sequence 186-you've made up your own dance to the Jellicle Ball sequence 187-You threaten anyone who uses CATS and GAY
in the same sentance 188-this is a list of your new years resolutions 189-when you watch a song on the video you sing
along 190- when its over you rewind it and sing the harmony 191 then once again you rewind it and sing in the same time
in more than one key 192- You'd absolutley DIE if you were told Jacob Brent had a girlfriend. 193- Same with Micheal
Gruber. 194- You have the movie "Bean" because Sir John Mills is in it. (and you've never totally seen the whole movie,
'cause Sir John is only in the first couple minutes or so..:) 195- You think the animated "King and I" was stupid, and
you wish they made Cats instead. 196- You're offended whenever you go to Blockbuster and your parents won't let you rent
Cats. 197- You bang your head against the wall in fury because they put the Making of Cats on DVD, but not on VHS. (and
you don't have DVD!!>:( 198-Your teacher assigns an essay, and you write it about JB 199-you go to London just to
see CATS live. 200-you get upset when your parents get you a dog not a cat 201-over half these things are true!! 202-you
spent your whole summer watching or listning to cats non stop. 203-you try puling out you're hair to convince people you're
sheding 204-you do all these once a day 205-you're boyfriend hates you and the feeling is mutual but you stick with
him because his name is Jacob and his last name starts wtih a B. 206-you sign you're last name as "Jellicle" 207-You
hiss and swipe at people. 208-You have hissing fights with your friend. 209-Your schedule revolves around your Cats
chat. 210-You fantasize about being a Cat in the cast. 211-You stalk the cast members, even if you haven't seent them. 212-Your
Buddy List consists of mainly people you met in your Cats chat and/or message board and/or cast members. 213-Your favorite
places list is filled with cats sites. 214-You write down The Naming of Cats in math class. 215-You write the names
of the Cats, cast members you adore, and lyrics from the songs in your agenda. 216-You have a hompage devoted to Cats. 217-You
noticed the incorrect spelling of Jemima in the end credits of the video (the additional vocal recordings part). 218-You
allow your younger sibling to paint a Cat's face on you, in the full knowledge you will look terrible. 219-You allow your
photo to be taken afterwards. 220-You have studied the show programme and souvenir brochure so many times they have fallen
to bits. 221-You needed hospital treatment after attempting to swing through the trees 222-You have adopted Rumpelteazer's
giggle and use it at every opportunity. 223-You watch all the repeats of "The Simpson's" in order to spot the episode featuring
Cats. 224-You hiss at the TV when Alonzo and Munkustrap fight Macavity in the video. 225-You have sudden uncontrollable
urges to pounce on moving objects. 226-Your teachers have recommended you should visit the School Psychiatrist because
of this. 227-You eat Kit-E-Cat when no one's home. 228-You like it. 229-You actually checked to see whether there
is really any such thing as the "Heaviside Layer" 230-You harass your music teacher to stage a production of Cats instead
of Grease. 231-You decide one of your friends is your identical twin and copy her (or his) every movement. 232-You begin
to hallucinate seeing Firefrorefiddle the Fiend of the Fell. 233-Having failed to become "lean as a lynx", you resolve
to be "mean as a minx" instead. 234-You dress as a Pollicle and perform the Pollicle march in front of your grandparents. 235-You
visit Dumfries Station every weekend, hoping for a glimpse of Skimbleshanks. 236-You try to follow your cat every time
they leave the house, in the hope of discovering the Jellicle Ball. 237-You plan to get married dressed as your favourite
cat. 238-You're convinced you can see in the dark (I CAN. Seriously, I can!) 239-Even after you knock over two lamps
and trip over over the living room couch at midnight! 240-Because now you're convinced Macavity snuck in and rearranged
all the furniture in your house! 241-You have no clue what the other Jellicles look like because you spend all your time
gazing longingly at Misto 242-Instead of carrying wallet-sized pics of your friends and family, you carry laminated pics
of the CATS cast you printed off the Net 243-And you whip 'em out to show to complete strangers! 244-You decline into
a deep depression when no one will take you to see CATS live in your area (I would!) 245-You crawl on all fours instead
of walking when in your house 246-And when your mom yells at you to get up, you dance around on tiptoes making graceful
hand gestures(I DO!) 247-When told to take a bath, you begin licking your arm 248-You practice being vague and aloof
249-You've written a prequel and a sequel to the original CATS 250-At work, you break out into song and dance from
CATS 251-And each time you finish a song, half the cusomers applaud and compliment you. 252-The other half just look
at you funny! 253-And you frighten your co-workers! 254-You take numerous catnaps throughout the day 255-You've
renamed all your friends with names from CATS 256-And they respond 257-You've renamed your Beanie Baby cats with names
from CATS (I DID!) 258-You leaf through People's 50 Most Beautiful People Issue and are annoyed and deeply offended when
no one from the CATS video is on it 259-You write to People suggesting they come out with a 50 Most Beautiful Cats issue 260-When
they don't, you do! 261-your bedroom walls are wallpapered with pictures from CATS 262-Even though your mom thinks CATS
is stupid, thanks to your watching it at least 3 times a day, she finds herself singing her least favorite song (MJ &
RT) at work 263-You've begun casting professional wrestlers in CATS roles 264-You've begun casting the CATS cast in
Grease roles 265-You become insanely jealous when anyone suggests Misto could be romantically invoved with ANY Jellicle
female 266-You become a Jellicle's Witness, going door to door preaching salvation through CATS 267-You keep calling
your sister Electra, and change your name into Jemima. 268-You write your name "Jemima" During a test. 269-You dance
infront the TV screen while you're watching Cats, infront your family, and you're not doing it well. (YEP! THAT'S ME!) 270-You
print out every single Cats picture you find on the net. (which causes your printer out of ink.) 271-You write down 'Macavity'
during math class, and 'Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer' during Boilogy class. 272-You have a BIG test tomorrow, but you still
watch Cats that night. 273-If you don't watch Cats a day, you'll die. 274-You draw the Cats logo on your test papers.
(which is not allowed) 275-You dream about Cats. 276-You're writing this. 277-If you don't watch Cats a day, you'll
die. 278-you can no longer speak words, only meow, hiss, growl, purr... 279-you are asked to name your best friends
and Rumpleteazer comes way before your real life friend Kate. 280-your idol is Demeter. 281-Bombalurina is your favorite
actress. 282-you refuse to respond to aything else but your cat name. 283-you cry because you are not mentioned in "The
Naming of Cats." 284-when you use a name in a hypothetical situation, it is always suspicioucly) Mungojerrie. 285-you
had a major falling-out with your friend when he/she said Pouncival wasn't a word. 286-you learn to scratch behing your
ear with your foot. 287-you see faint stripes appearig on your arms, legs, and back. 288-you accidentally address your
friend as Jemima before remembering her name is really Courtney. 289-you are on Cloud Nine, because you can talk about
Michael Gruber, the object of your affection, without anyone knowing who you mean-- no blackmail here! 290-your parents
put you up for adoption when you dress up your cats as Pekes and Pollicles. 291-your friends start treating YOU like Grizabella. 292-you
refuse to go out with anyone with a last name other than Gruber. 293-you are mystified when others are not familiar with
the name Jellylorum. 294-someone says, "this is this," and you immediately belt out, "and that is that, and there's how
you address a cat!" 295-you are actually jealous of your pet cats. 296-you wear holes through the knees of all your
pants from crawling. 297-you yelp in pain when someone steps on your feather boa tail. 298-you hyperventilate when you
see a pet store window with a sign that says, "CATS"... until you realize they mean the real thing. 299-your guidelines
for flirting are defined by Bombalurina. (AMEN! *grin*) 300-you are deeply offended/saddened when you hear that someone
is allergic to cats. 301-you swipe at your friends when they don't want to talk about Cats. 302-you always get strange
looks in public, no matter how well you perfom "Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer" for the crowd! (THAT'S ME!) 303-you are bewildered
when you leap onto someone's back and they don't turn into Macavity. 304-you take it as a compliment if someone says you
are cock of the walk when you're walking alone. 305-people are well aware that you are NOT a dog. 306-you won't part
with your battered catnip mouse-- EVER. 307-you want to name your kid-- boy OR girl-- Skimbleshanks, with the middle name
Therailwaycat (one word). 308-you become a famous actress and make your stage name Tantomile. 309-you wake up on the
floor because you fell out of bed while dancing Victoria's solo in your sleep...again. 310-you hope your best friend disappears
so you can call in Mr. Mistoffelees. 311-you make a night life out of stealing winter vests and woolworth pearls. 312-you
describe anything cool as "jellicle." 313-your English teacher wonders how you know what "terpsichorean" means. 314-EVERYONE
wonders when you learned to sing Italian opera. 315-you stay up all night reading these reasons! 316-you refer to the
Toronto Stock Exchange innitials as T.S. Eliot. 317-you read this entire list in less than ten minutes. 318-you dess
you cat(s) up as CATS characters for Halloween if they don't already look like them. 219-if you get pheasent for lunch,
you much prefer grouse. 320-you go to Germany just to see if you can find John Partrige. 321-you rent all the movies,
bye all the albums, and see all the plays that have CATS actors from all the productions. 322-you make your own CATS soundtrack
by taping of the video if you can't afford to buy it....or you sing it yourself. 323-you have a Zip disk (100 MB) completely
filled with CATS midis, sound files, pics, etc. and you've almost filled another. 324-you listen to CATS midis while you
do your homework on the computer. (I DO!) 325-you cry when there aren't any costume stores around that don't carry CATS
costumes. 326-Dogs are afraid of you 327-You refer to your hands as paws, your fingernails as claws, and your feet as
footpaws 328-When you go to a party, the host/ess hides his/her pet cats 329-You cry for hours after seeing a dead cat
on the road 330-You scare your grandmother, saying it is time for her "new Jellicle life" 331-You shriek in fury whenever
people refer to female cats as male, and males as female 332-You are furious when your parents forbid you from keeping
the "Alonzo cat" you found, even if it will make the entire cast of your cats complete 333-You and your friend have battles
to see who can sing and dance "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats" faster 334-You strongly believe you are from the "Cat
Planet", and your only visiting the humans on Earth 335-You're arrested for animal abuse after beating a dog for fighting
one of your cats, and the cat started the fight 336-You make posters of the Jellicles for your room 337-People start
using the stairs after being with YOU in the elevator and listening to your Jellicle songs 338-When at a family reunion,
you shamelessly sings "Old Deuteronomy" whenever you see your grandfather 339-You put pheasant, grouse, fish, AND rabbit
on the porch at night (despite your parents protests), in high hopes that the Tugger will visit you 340-When you are forbidden
to watch Cats, you watch "The Aristocats", or "101 Dalmatians", or "101 Pollicles" as you call it 341-Your listening to
your Cats CD while reading this (I'm listening to it as I typed this!) 342-Your watching and listening to your Cats video
while reading this 343-When babysitting, you refuse to read any other bedtime story than "Old Possum's book of Practical
Cats" 344-When you see Clinton on the news, you don't think of Monica, you don't think of bombings and Kosovo, you think
of his cat Socks 345-your Cats video has been in the VCR so long that it won't come out-- and you don't care!
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